the wrong foot

What would you do if you found out it was the wrong foot?

What if you got up one morning and went to put your shoe on, only to find out you were putting it on the wrong foot? Have you ever had that happen? No?? Well, lemme tell ya, it’s a scary feeling.

Here I was, awakened from a deep sleep in the wee hours of the morning, barely even 4 a.m., by a loud ringing in my ears. Somehow I managed to disable the alarm, remove myself from its immediate vicinity, and get down the hall and into the bathroom – without ever opening my eyes. It felt very strange to find myself in the shower, fully dressed in pajamas and bathrobe … but hey! those things happen when you try to make it on an hour and a half of sleep.

Well, I reasoned, in my best early-morning brain train, at least I don’t have as much laundry to do now. After finishing my shower and leaving the PJs and bathrobe on the floor to dry, I stumbled strode back to the bedroom with a clear and present purpose – I must get dressed and make it to the airport in 15 minutes. What? OH NO!

What do I do? what do I do? It’s OK, breathe, dear – don’t panic. Yah, breathe. whoosh whoosh. OH – I know, I’ll get my clothes on. Where’s the closet?? Oh, yeah, I’m standing in it. Where’s my blouse? You mean the one you’re wearing? Oh yeah, thanks honey – that’s the one. Well, bye honey, off I go. Hey – you need another item. What? OH!! my pants. Yeah, they’re here somewhere. Oh … uhm … sorry, honey. Were those yours? Ah – here are mine.

Ready! No you’re not, dear – shoes – get your shoes on!

As I sit down to put my shoes on, something feels very, very strange. I can’t feel my foot! Did I damage the nerves in my haste to get dressed and off to the airport? What if I can’t walk when I get there? What if I fall getting out of the cab and hurt myself and miss my flight? What if I never get the feeling back and have to go through life with unfeeling feet? What if I … huh?

What? What did you say, honey?

Oh. I’m putting my shoe on your foot?

This is a post in response to the Daily Prompt about Mad Libs. This is only a post. Had it been an actual writing, it would have been preceded by a public outcry.

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