Hi Gertie, my friend! Are you surprised to hear from me? Well, you shouldn’t be – I feel so electronically advanced now! Your nephew Donald came over and helped me figure out how to send an email. I’m sure he loves helping me learn things on this computer. I’m so glad you talked him into it, since he was so good about helping you get all techno-savvy (don’t you love it when you can use such advanced technical terms right away!) . . . but you know, lately he seems to be a little slower about coming over when I call. He used to come right away, even when I didn’t have cookies.
Gert, I need to confide something to you. Now, don’t get all mad – I just don’t understand that nephew of yours! I don’t know why he thinks computers need cookies – I’ve ruined the last two my son bought me with all those crumbs, and the crumbs make these typewriter keys stick too (he calls it a keyboard, but I can’t get any music out of it to save my life!). I thought maybe Donald would think jello was better, but it just got the whole thing sticky.
I think I’m getting pretty doggone computer-savvy, don’t you, doing this email thing?! I have to admit, though, the first time I heard of email, I thought Donald was wacky (no offense, Gertie ol’ girlie). I could’ve sworn he said, “My sister he mailed you yesterday. Did you get it?” So I said, as gently as I could so as not to hurt his feelings, “He mailed? Donald, your sister is not a he. Your dad is a he, and I don’t know what he mailed. The mailman didn’t even stop at my house yesterday.” Poor Donald. I don’t understand why he turns all purple and gasps like that – he’s the one that’s mixed up about who’s the he and who’s the she. I certainly know the difference!
Anyway – all that aside, I now know what this email thing is, and I declare, I’ve been sending these things to everybody I can think of!! Just yesterday I got a lesson from Donald in group emails. He showed me how to send the same thing to about 30 people, and oh the fun I had!!
Today I found all sorts of things on the computer that looked like fun to mail, so I sent the whole garden club a bunch of notices from a new gardening magazine I found. I thought the name was pretty creative . . . let’s see if I can remember it . . . ah, yes – it was called “Who Grew??” It didn’t have any gardening hints though, just a bunch of color pictures of mimosas and strawberries and roses and the like, and a whole page of little bitty print with lines under some of the words. I moved the mouse around (why do they call it a mouse anyway? I hate mice!!) and that little liney-thingy that moves when I move the mouse – well, it would start to look like a little pointy-finger. I thought that was about the funniest thing I’d seen all day! But Donald got all red in the face, and then a kind of pasty gray shade with a peculiar green color around his mouth, and then he told me not to click. Hmpfh!! I told him I wasn’t clicking – my teeth were firmly in place and the denture cream was a very reliable brand. I think poor Donald is starting to develop a nervous tic. I shouldn’t wonder, though, what with him hearing clicking noises all the time.
Well, Gertie, I think I need to go unclick these pesky dentures and make them quiet down, before Donald has a conniption fit! He needs a vacation. I will try to write to you again as soon as he gets rested up and will come back over. Or I might just go ahead and try it all by myself next time. And as soon as Donald leaves, I’m gonna play with that mouse again and watch the little fingers come up over those lines of words. I wonder if it will make little toes come up too? I’ll ask Donald . . . . Oh. I guess I won’t. Donald just left. Such strange noises he makes sometimes. I had no idea he could move that fast either!
Oh well, I will be going now. Your best friend and now fellow computer-geek…LubbyGirl